Back in the day before I had four kids I used to take great pride in my hair and how it looked. My stylist named John charged me $38 for a wash and cut. After the tip and “product” that I purchased, the whole trip would cost me approximately $55 (every 5 weeks). Since the kids came around I basically have given up all hope on my hair. I quit going to John and started going to a place called Fantastic Sam’s. It’s one of those places that hires right out of beauty school and doesn’t care about the kind of grades their applicants get. There are no appointments to make, you just walk in and the next flavor of the month cuts your hair. A haircut there costs $15 plus a 3-5 dollar tip. Very inexpensive, BUT this time around I got what I paid for. I explained the style of cut that I wanted to the new face and she seemed to have understood. She started to trim the sides like I asked (oh, we forgot to give the girl a name. Lets call her Brain Deficient BITCH!), but before I could say stop, she buzzed the front of my head with a number 2 trimmer setting. I’M BALD; I HAVE STUBLE ON MY HEAD. I can grow more facial hair in two days than what I have on my head. I look like a Jewish skinhead. I might as well start beating the hell out of myself now. Instead of bringing Brain Deficient BITCH to tears I kept my feelings bottled up, I even gave her a tip afterwards. I just wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation.
I know that my hair will grow back……..some day, but in the meantime I fear that I may have to put sunscreen on my damn head to keep it from burning. I’m going to walk into my house today and Elizabeth, James and my wife will all laugh at me, Amanda and Alistair will start crying because a stranger just entered their house claiming to be daddy.
I hate Mondays.