Friday, February 02, 2007

Pressure

I was directly reminded of the age old question that has not been properly answered since the beginning of time. The planet that I have been living on for the past 35 years felt as if it had stopped spinning and that someone had placed a “you are here” sticker marking the latitude and longitude over my current position. Although I was within the confines of my comfortable warm home, I could feel the pressures of world weighing down on me and the souls of past waiting to see how I would respond to the uncomfortable situation that I had not welcomed. My heart started to beat noticeably faster, I started to sweat. I contemplated an exit strategy that would not, could not be executed. I made a quick assessment of the situation and answered with tremendous precision that would allow me to continue my evening peacefully.

What is a father to do when changing his newborn sons diaper and the little bugger decides to puke and finish pooping at the same time while the diaper is off, having the fear that at any moment he could pee on me and everything else within a 4.5 ft. radius?

Have a nice weekend.

9 comments:

Kim Ayres said...

Go for one of these

In fact, maybe you could ask for one as an early valentine's gift

amy flege said...

boys will be boys!!!

Tracey said...

Ah. Then you just wait for everything to finish coming out, and start wiping. Feel free to say "Oh #@$%" several times as this is one of those situations where it is truly ok to swear in front of your children.

Sara said...

ahahahahahahahahaha Multi tasking man!!!! I had Nathaniel poop in my hand when he was a mth old, it seemed to gross the Nurse out that I kept my hand there till he finished :p what was I supposed to do?? She was too busy being grossed out to help :p

lololol You are funny !!

Sara said...

Sorry me again... Oh crap I am laughing so hard.. Kim.. lololololol you are too funny! lolololololol

Jessica said...

I had the same experience last week! Not fun at all!

Princess Morgan said...

Too funny! I miss these experiences having a girl. I'll just live vicariously through you. So funny!!!

BStrong said...

Kim – I like it, but does it come in green? Also, it’s not very form fitting and might make my ass look big:)

Amy – But do they have to act like them on my watch.

Tracey – I even made up some new words

Sara – Ok, that is a little gross but I guess catching it is better than getting it on the bed. I’m sure the facial expression of the nurse was priceless.

Jessica – You too ha. Let’s keep a camera near by so that we can take pictures next time and compare.

Princess - Boys are certainly a different animal.

Asher Hunter said...

You know, you could get revenge with a super soaker and some chocoloate pudding....