Last night Robyn and I were just chatting about stuff but somehow for a brief moment she brought up our Puerto Rico vacation we took six years ago, and then she moved on to another topic. I was still stuck on Puerto Rico. I’m not sure if it was the vacation itself that had me daydreaming or the fact that we were free spirits without kids and virtually zero responsibility, at least not the same kind of responsibility we have now. I felt myself wanting to go back to that time and place to just hang out for a week. No kids, no mortgage and no car payments (we lived in an apartment and had one car that was paid off). I’m sure that I don’t need to say it, but being human and having tremendous guilt I feel the need to say “I love my kids and life, and wouldn’t change anything”, but still I want to go back just to feel that freedom of youth. Is that so bad? Is this the beginning of a mid-life crisis? I hope not, I’m only 34 and can’t deal with this now. I can just see myself down at the dealership trading in the Toyota Camry for some exotic car that I can’t afford, my hairstyle changing to something you see on Mtv (frosted tips or something), or my wardrobe taking on the appearance of something out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue.
Where in the world did this come from? HELP!
I think I need rest.