Summer Camp

When I was thirteen years old my parents sent me to overnight summer camp in Kalkaska, Michigan. This was the first time that I was away from home for an extended period of time so the first week or two were very difficult for me, but once I started to make friends and get involved in all the activities things got easier. The things I did as a child makes me wonder how I survived long enough to reach adulthood as a free man. I remember that our camp was on a small lake where we used to go swimming and the changing room was an old broken down school bus with the windows painted over. One day I said to myself, gee wouldn’t it be funny if I threw a smoke bomb under the bus while the younger bunks were changing? Sounded like a good idea at the time, but four exhausted fire extinguishers later and a lot of water proved it to be bad, very bad. Apparently when you light a smoke bomb a flame shoots out before the smoke and when fire mixes with very dry brush, well you get the picture. It’s quite amazing that I was never caught, it was also at that time I learned the definition of the word alibi.

I was in the oldest bunk and we pretty much had free reign of the camp. One evening we all decided to go on a raid of the younger bunks. We had actually planned long and hard for this evening. This was going to be the defining moment in our young and now that I look back at it, stupid lives. The following is a list of gags we performed that night.

1. Toothpaste on the eyelids of our sleeping victims. Result: Impossible to open your eyes.
2. Clear plastic wrap on the toilet seats. Result: You can’t see the plastic, and when your victim goes to do their business, you get a mess.
3. Honey around the door jam. Result: Bee’s love honey (this was a bad idea because of bee allergies. Kid’s don’t ever try this one).
4. Removing the doorknobs from the cabin doors. Result: Funny as all hell. The entire camp was late for line up.
5. Removing the lunch room benches and lining them up in the lake. Result: BIG TROUBLE FOR US.
6. Dumping about 10 gallons of powdered paint on the beach near the water. Result: after your feet get wet from swimming, you’ve got another mess.
7. Sending the canoes out into the lake. Result: Missing out on the water slide trip.

That’s about it for summer camp. We had fun, got into trouble and weren’t allowed back the following year. Adults, they’re such party poopers.

* No kids were seriously injured as a result of our pranks.