tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post112014826421133056..comments2023-12-05T05:44:05.890-05:00Comments on Down Syndrome Life: Friends Just Don't Get It!BStronghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15795381642029132764noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-13900318760633124772008-06-16T11:41:00.000-05:002008-06-16T11:41:00.000-05:00dezzellI have a wonderful 9 month old little man a...dezzell<BR/><BR/>I have a wonderful 9 month old little man and yes he to has DS and he also has a twin brother and they are a true blessing. My husband and I also did not find out until birth that Cole had DS.Yes,it was alot to deal with but a nurse at the hospital shared a poem with us that really help us. My husband and I share this poem with our friends and it has helped them to be more comfortable with our family. Besides upon meeting Cole you can't help but to fall head over heels in love with him. The name of the poem is "Welcome to Holland" please google it I promise it will help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-42754198503881208702007-11-21T00:24:00.000-05:002007-11-21T00:24:00.000-05:00i learned early on to treat my child with down syn...i learned early on to treat my child with down syndrom as my other 3 kids. When someone would say,"Oh, i hear they are so loving," I would say, "No, he is as much of a pain in the neck as my other kids" and laugh as I said it, That seemed to put people at ease and we could talk and they didn't feel they were going to offend me in any way. Also, when we were at the park and my son had his toung hanging out of his mouth and another three year old would say, "mommy, why does he do that?", I would just say, Oh, because thats the way God made him. Do you want to play catch with us? That way the other mom didn't have to try to explain something she didn't understand and the little kid got the true answer. Then he would play with us and see that my son was OK to play with.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-1150051447358607862006-06-11T13:44:00.000-05:002006-06-11T13:44:00.000-05:00We have a 10 month old son with DS, who was also v...We have a 10 month old son with DS, who was also very sick the first few weeks, and our closest friends have all been simply wonderful, we've got much closer to them. I think all you can do if your former circle of friends can't be supportive is find new friends, people maybe who themselves have the depth of personality, the maturity that comes through real problems in their own lives, their own families. These days in the affluent West, many people go through life expecting never to have a serious problem, and are totally unprepared when things like sickness or disability come up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-1122527617441988092005-07-28T00:13:00.000-05:002005-07-28T00:13:00.000-05:00That is hard, and I am sorry that you're having to...That is hard, and I am sorry that you're having to deal with insenstive and unsupportive friends at the time when you might need them most.<BR/><BR/>Most of our friends were great about Ellie, but some people did shy away from us for a while. One couple even tearily explained how strong and wonderful we are, what great role models for them, etc, etc. laced with apologies for staying away because they just didn't know what to say around us.<BR/><BR/>It was hard, adjusting. I am very blunt about that. But I don't weep for myself every day. I love my daughter every day. I appreciate understanding, sympathy, and support. But I don't pity myself and I don't need pity from "friends."<BR/><BR/>I agree with Trisha, suggesting that it's often up to the parents to set the tone. So true. That said, we've become much closer friends with those who were supportive, and have grown more distant from those who were so . . . selfish.Sarahlynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13658866017847046987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-1120243655828229702005-07-01T13:47:00.000-05:002005-07-01T13:47:00.000-05:00It sounds like maybe your friends are still back a...It sounds like maybe your friends are still back at the point of devastation since they haven't lived the day-to-day transformation of feelings with you. I would hope that the more time they spend with you and your family, the more it will become the "new normal" for all of you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08235049965406944684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-1120177297800891322005-06-30T19:21:00.000-05:002005-06-30T19:21:00.000-05:00PS2. You can always try a one-on-one honest conver...PS2. You can always try a one-on-one honest conversation with a friend about how you feel. It might really break the ice for you.Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13263860830512792429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-1120166473576519042005-06-30T16:21:00.000-05:002005-06-30T16:21:00.000-05:00PS. Actually, I have a friend in Pittsburgh who ha...PS. Actually, I have a friend in Pittsburgh who has a 4-yr-old daughter with DS. It might be good for your wife to speak with her.Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13263860830512792429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14084675.post-1120166297625633552005-06-30T16:18:00.000-05:002005-06-30T16:18:00.000-05:00Welcome to the blogosphere. :-)I think people do f...Welcome to the blogosphere. :-)<BR/>I think people do find it hard to know what to say, unless they've been there themselves. Sometimes you have to be the ones to make them feel comfortable. People in church groups also tend to try to help, as much as they are able to understand to do.<BR/><BR/>I've found people in parent support groups and some professionals are most comfortable as I've processed my feelings.<BR/><BR/>Barbara Curtis, blogging at "Mommylife," might be a help to you. Michael Berube, blogging at "Michael Berube," has a son with DS of whom he is very proud. "Houdini Didn't Have These Hips" is another blog by the mother of a child with DS.Pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13263860830512792429noreply@blogger.com